20 most recent
Sun, Nov. 22nd, 2009, 03:05 am
HEART TO WALL
When asked do I feel touched, I asked myself, over and over again, do I? Probably, but I really don't know, I probably wouldn't say a definite yes. So the O's been over for a week now but it feels like months already I feel like taking back my results nowwwww I hate the idea of going out nowadays hmmm December is gonna be busy busy month with all the commitments sigh somehow I think I like studying better.
Sat, Nov. 7th, 2009, 03:48 pm
Hint.
I've a newfound secret. Ah.
Hint.
Hint.
Hint.
Hint.
Hint.
Hint.
Wed, Oct. 28th, 2009, 07:17 pm
BLINDED
Someone is not replying my message.. Nice.
And to all who keeps on harping that I'm so lucky to have two extra days to study for other subjects because I need not take Amath papers tomorrow and the day after, you know what I think? Stop bloody complaining cause you know, it's not like you don't have a choice to drop the subject. You work hard for it, good for you you might a good grade for Amath reflected in your cert and I? YA I'VE TWO EXTRA DAYS TO STUDY OTHER SU
For the first time, my mind is well guarded against my heart.
Sun, Oct. 25th, 2009, 02:34 am
1 WORD 2 SAY
It's going to begin in 34 hours and end in approximately 443 hours. I can already start counting down the days till the end of O's with my fingers and toes.
I think I have absolute no life now all for the sake of this when it's only one of the minor exams in life...? That when people who have been through this would actually look back and simply say, "it's no kick".
...ORDINARY LEVEL exam.
Yeah. And I can't stop thinking about us, and the bridge, and us being bridged? Linked? Meet? Going deep? Play?
It's gonna be all over again.
I think I have absolute no life now all for the sake of this when it's only one of the minor exams in life...? That when people who have been through this would actually look back and simply say, "it's no kick".
...ORDINARY LEVEL exam.
Yeah. And I can't stop thinking about us, and the bridge, and us being bridged? Linked? Meet? Going deep? Play?
It's gonna be all over again.
Sat, Oct. 10th, 2009, 07:45 pm
GG
Sixteen days sixteen days sixteen days?!!!??
I'm think I'm retreating back to my shell.
I'm think I'm retreating back to my shell.
Sat, Oct. 3rd, 2009, 06:22 pm
How could you be so..
I'm really so so sick of studying. Morning, day, night, and during every possible moment.
Can I not study anymore? :-(
Can I not study anymore? :-(
Sun, Sep. 27th, 2009, 12:15 am
A detour
We talked, Sarah and I, while we messed around with our books and papers -- taking (10-15) pictures with my cam, munching on our cookies from Subway (Or Subway! Eat Fresh! as Jeredy calls it), snapping pictures of her/myself (epic fail) and sending (free) MMS to different individuals like D, J, J and S. I am not being normal, and she tells me to please be -- an ugly fact that she mentions more than once, which makes me smile. Today's session was productive in a vague and unfocused way though I'm pretty sure Sarah will not agree on this. Def.
She left at half past 5, and I made my way, alone, to Wheelock. I felt the itchy desire to make a ridiculous and unnecessary impulse purchase at Borders, but it was an impulse I managed to contain. $5.00 on a transcluent, plain, plastic box meant to store photos (intended to use as a pencil case), worth or not worth? At Borders, I settled down on a wooden bench, complete with a few books on hand, and I spent my next two hours camping in there -- making ocassional coversations with strangers -- the first one named J who approached me and talked about style, and the second one was when I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me that felt the (very disturbing) vibration from the bench/ground.
We met up, a rather impromptu one, just Tabitha, Pris (finally this time without her snappy! girlfriend), Zeemin and I. My evening was filled with softness and joy thanks to the 3 -- even if it means Ive to piece up stories I hear from each of them in order to get a clear picture, even if it means I cannot join them for drinks in the night, even if it means I've to walk from Wheelock to Heeren, even if it means I've to sarcrifice time on not studying. We talked, about T and ZM. We talked about Pris. And we talked about me -- the things underneath -- the things between the lines, unspoken, left unsaid -- your sadness or pain, it makes me want to cry. It makes me worry about you. But I sit there, curled up on my chair and I don't cry -- because there is no end to it, because the thoughts behind those actions scraped me to the bone, because I am just so drained. It's wearing me out, inside out.
She left at half past 5, and I made my way, alone, to Wheelock. I felt the itchy desire to make a ridiculous and unnecessary impulse purchase at Borders, but it was an impulse I managed to contain. $5.00 on a transcluent, plain, plastic box meant to store photos (intended to use as a pencil case), worth or not worth? At Borders, I settled down on a wooden bench, complete with a few books on hand, and I spent my next two hours camping in there -- making ocassional coversations with strangers -- the first one named J who approached me and talked about style, and the second one was when I wanted to make sure it wasn't just me that felt the (very disturbing) vibration from the bench/ground.
We met up, a rather impromptu one, just Tabitha, Pris (finally this time without her snappy! girlfriend), Zeemin and I. My evening was filled with softness and joy thanks to the 3 -- even if it means Ive to piece up stories I hear from each of them in order to get a clear picture, even if it means I cannot join them for drinks in the night, even if it means I've to walk from Wheelock to Heeren, even if it means I've to sarcrifice time on not studying. We talked, about T and ZM. We talked about Pris. And we talked about me -- the things underneath -- the things between the lines, unspoken, left unsaid -- your sadness or pain, it makes me want to cry. It makes me worry about you. But I sit there, curled up on my chair and I don't cry -- because there is no end to it, because the thoughts behind those actions scraped me to the bone, because I am just so drained. It's wearing me out, inside out.
Sat, Sep. 12th, 2009, 01:13 am
$$$
"Wow, my school’s alumni is so rockin. They are giving us incentives, to motivate us to do well for our prelims. 10 students who get like 9 A1’s (?) will get $2000 each, and the 60 students who manage to get 6 A1’s will get $1000 each. Do you know how much that totals up?! Now we all know how much money our school has, yet they still demand us for donations. Screw school.
And the best part? I think they’re only providing this to my cohort, cos they know we CMI, thus it’s not really losing money. They know not many of us will be able to get it! HAHAHA! So much for encouraging." - Suhaila
And the best part? I think they’re only providing this to my cohort, cos they know we CMI, thus it’s not really losing money. They know not many of us will be able to get it! HAHAHA! So much for encouraging." - Suhaila
Thu, Sep. 10th, 2009, 08:02 pm
No subject
''No girl should ever forget that she doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her.'' - Marilyn Monroe
Mon, Sep. 7th, 2009, 08:35 pm
Good-natured realists
Good-natured Realists like you rarely fall in love head over heels. You approach a new relationship very carefully and guardedly. That has to do with the fact that you are one of the introverted Realists who don’t carry their heart on their sleeve, and you need a little time to warm up. Additionally, you have expectations of what you are looking for, and what you need in matters of love. Before you give your heart away, you want to be sure that your counterpart is the right one. In most cases, that protects you from disappointments - and that is good because deep inside, you have a very vulnerable core that does not easily get over genuine lovesickness. However, you permit yourself to get totally involved once you are convinced that your chosen person is worthy of your love.
It is the main purpose of your life to care for others. There is nothing that makes you happier than to look after and take care of your partner. It is an easy equation for you: If he/she is happy, you are happy. You have a very loving, warmhearted, and generous nature that sees to it that your partner simply feels comfortable and in the best sense in good hands and secure with you. You may not be a person of many words but that is not even necessary. Just because you don’t continuously reaffirm it, whoever is with you will be showered with devotion, care, and attention to the point that he/she won’t doubt your love.
With your fine intuition for your partner’s wishes, how he/she feels, or what he/she happens to need at the moment even before he/she does, nothing brings you greater joy than to make sure that your partner gets it right away (and probably some extra icing on the cake he/she could not have imagined). Hardly any other type engages him/herself as intensely for his/her sweetheart as you do. That almost borders on a willingness to sacrifice. And this also works in matters of sexuality. You’re so intent on figuring out what your partner enjoys, and how you can best make him/her happy, that you often forget that you are supposed to have some fun yourself. When you happen to have a headache, it is suspected that you rarely manage to say “no,” correct?
It is the main purpose of your life to care for others. There is nothing that makes you happier than to look after and take care of your partner. It is an easy equation for you: If he/she is happy, you are happy. You have a very loving, warmhearted, and generous nature that sees to it that your partner simply feels comfortable and in the best sense in good hands and secure with you. You may not be a person of many words but that is not even necessary. Just because you don’t continuously reaffirm it, whoever is with you will be showered with devotion, care, and attention to the point that he/she won’t doubt your love.
With your fine intuition for your partner’s wishes, how he/she feels, or what he/she happens to need at the moment even before he/she does, nothing brings you greater joy than to make sure that your partner gets it right away (and probably some extra icing on the cake he/she could not have imagined). Hardly any other type engages him/herself as intensely for his/her sweetheart as you do. That almost borders on a willingness to sacrifice. And this also works in matters of sexuality. You’re so intent on figuring out what your partner enjoys, and how you can best make him/her happy, that you often forget that you are supposed to have some fun yourself. When you happen to have a headache, it is suspected that you rarely manage to say “no,” correct?
- Taken from my personality type from www.ipersonic.com
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Sun, Sep. 6th, 2009, 06:27 pm
Making peace
We are poor correspondents, both you, and I. I am inconsistent when it comes to these things. And you, will just be you. There are moments when I sit down, and start to focus on an invisible point on the horizon that forms from nowhere, and breathe my pulse down to a standstill. And I imagine myself, slowly fading into clarity, or sinking into the plain surroundings.... I'd almost succeeded in pushing us to the back of my mind. Almost. Just almost. But for now, I'd still want to believe that there's still something that's worth waiting for.
PS: I'm reallllly thankful for you for being here 18 hours a day and for all that you've offered me thus far.
Sun, Sep. 6th, 2009, 12:04 am
Words.
On some days, your words are capable of lifting me to take flight. And on some days, your words threw me into the depths of despair. Yet on other days, your words brighten my day and brings me outta isolation. My heart still feels as heavy. The beauty of who you were and who you are still lingers in my mind... and I remember you.
Sun, Aug. 30th, 2009, 10:10 pm
Hollow but apparent
Sat, Aug. 29th, 2009, 09:17 pm
Impossible possibility
Memorising is hell. Hell is memorising.
Wish me luck.
Sat, Aug. 15th, 2009, 06:46 pm
Easier and harder
I know that you exist and are out there somewhere, you take up space and you breathe the same air that I do. Almost three months since I last touched you, and here am I vividly picturing your body arching towards mine, missing the taste of your skin. It is not only that that I miss -- though I do, sometimes -- but it is more of that, many times late in the night, there are things I have to say and only wanting to say them to you. But when you were gone, it was hard to. Because things have gradually shifted from the focus, the hard has only gotten harder and the easy has eventually harden as well. Nowadays late at night, I wake up (if I am asleep, though often I am not) only to realise I have things to get across to you, only to you, but so far away are you. I don't know if I were to speak to you now, if I could even match up all that I could say with what I might say.
Sun, Jul. 26th, 2009, 05:53 pm
Battling with
No weeping
No hurt or pain
No suffering
You hold me now,
You hold me now
No hurt or pain
No suffering
You hold me now,
You hold me now